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The “Peace of God” is something you hear mentioned a lot in church. Religious people love to say things love “it’s the peace that passes understanding.” As if quoting scripture out of context means anything.

But what is God’s peace? Is it real? How does one experience it? And what does it feel like? One of my best friends explains it best. She encountered it in a hospital room while holding the child who died before she was delivered.

Meet MaryAnne.

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I became a Christian when I was 14 and walked closely with God until I had children. I had dreamed of becoming a mother all of my life and I was fool enough to trust I could do it by myself. So I did.

My husband was in the Navy on submarines. This meant that he was he was attached to the sub for 6 months out the year with a deployment schedule of 3 months out-to-sea and then 3 months home. When my son was 2 and my daughter was 1 I had one of the hardest 3 months of my life alone with them. During that time I decided to get my tubes tied.

As I sat in the doctor’s office awaiting the start of the procedure they took a precautionary pregnancy test and announced that I was pregnant. I was scared to death. I wasn’t fearful of being pregnant; I loved pregnancy and giving birth. I was scared that I wouldn’t be capable to be a good mother to my children should I have to put in another 3-month-sleepless-patrol with my husband at sea and no family for support.

I had a ultrasound right away to determine how far along I was and found that my placenta was lodged beneath the baby. In addition to that I was in pain right from the start and I just knew in my heart that something was wrong. My husband was back at sea when I had my first visit to see the Navy doctor at 22 weeks. (Up to that point it was standard to only see a nurse practitioner.) I told the doctor of my pains and he said I was a “paranoid mother” and told me to leave his office.

Two weeks later I had a second ultrasound and found out that the placenta had moved which was good. But the ultrasound also showed that the baby had stopped growing 4 weeks prior. I went home and was consumed with the fear of loosing my baby and the worry of being alone with two toddlers. I had nonstop migraines I couldn’t sleep and my heart raced every moment that I was awake. The only thing I could handle was taking concern of my children and making sure their routine and security was not effected.

But for me personally it was like well much. I reached out to God admitted that I couldn’t get through it without Him and asked for His help. I prayed that He would perform a miracle and keep our baby living until my husband got back from sea. I knew I didn’t have what it took to deal with losing a baby by myself.

The moment I finished the prayer I was calmed. My heart stopped racing and all of the fear was gone. The calm and peace I felt in my heart flowed through my body as I literally felt all of my muscles relax. It was the first time in 7 months that the pregnancy pain was completely gone and everything felt normal.

Two weeks later I learned that our baby was beginning to grow again. She was serene 4 weeks behind however the growth had picked up where it had left off bringing hope once again. It was round this time that husband returned. After he’d been home for a few days I realized that the baby had stopped moving. When we arrived at the hospital I was rushed into ultrasound.

We had lost our baby at 28 ½ weeks.

And since it was a Friday I was told that the staff wasn’t available to induce labor which meant that I’d have to wait until Monday to deliver my baby. I was beyond broken and went into labor as soon as we got home. Filled with fear and hopelessness I once again cried out to God with all I had. I couldn’t go through the motions of getting a baby sitter packing a handbag and all the fuss of spontaneous labor for a dead baby. Instantly the labor pains stopped and I was calm.  Although that weekend was one of the hardest times of our lives the labor never returned and the peace of God never left.

The following Monday I was put on the OB/GYN surgical floor instead of labor and delivery to spare me the heartache of hearing live babies cry. A very thoughtful notion on the behalf of the doctor however the young staff was clueless as to what to do with me especially when I went into labor earlier than expected and they couldn’t achieve a doctor. I heard someone say “but he’s downstairs delivering a live baby.” Even with comments like that farthest physical pain and scarcely any pain medication administered I was at perfect peace.

With no doctor still our daughter Jessica was delivered into the armament of my husband.  As I thanked God for His presence and His love for us I noticed that all of the staff remained in the room just standing there. When I asked why a nurse said that there was something – a presence – in the room that compelled them to stay. She said that they were all amazed at the peace my husband and I shared as together we delivered our child.

And then they  gave me some time alone with my baby. She was 12 inches long and weighed about 1.5 lbs. Besides being so tiny as to fit in my hand instead of my arms – she looked perfectly normal as though she was only asleep. Holding her I cried. I cried for the child she would have been for every thing I had endured and I cried my indignation at God until there was nothing left. And then I prayed “Jesus into your hands I trust my baby girl.  I understand you will receive good mind of her and love her for me.  Please give her a kiss and hug for me everyday and keep me in the faith until I can be with you and her together in Heaven.”

And now all these years later I have never forgotten that peace. I have never stopped seeking it for other areas of my life. And I have never stopped being thankful for my children. My son who is 20 my daughter who is 19 and my second daughter who has had the gift of living her 17 years with Jesus in Heaven.

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To listen to Pastor King’s message A Loving God Would Never… click —> here

If you’re looking for something else you can also search through 6 years worth of Pastor King’s sermons here —>Cherrydale Archives. Not quite sure what you’re looking for? Allow me to recommend his series on the Book of Ruth. It’s one of my favorites.